One night on a remote island

Circa 2004

One beautiful night, on the beach, somewhere in Perak, two souls bonded and shared thoughts on love.

After a simple dinner cooked over an open fire, and a quick bath with moss-covered well-water, we stretched our plastic blue-orange makeshift tent into a tikar. Laying next to each other, watching God’s wonderful creation – the moon and stars came out to gently wink at each other.

He wore his pagoda t-shirt, kain pelikat and natural musk. I wore my sweats, t-shirt and a good morning towel on my head – modestly and weakly covering my hair. No natural musk, I’m afraid. I brought my Johnson’s baby powder okeh.

As we lay next to each other, head to head, toe to toe (he wasn’t that tall and I don’t mean no disrespect!), he told me all about his fiancée – the love of his life and the woman he wants to marry. She was his postperson. He was trying to woo her best friend. But his efforts were rejected raw – tolak mentah-mentah. Only because his birth certificate didn’t carry the Syed name. Tribal sungguh.

“lor ada lagi pesen orang gitu ker..”

“you’d be surprised, Me”

So the postperson became the shoulder to cry on. And he began to feel something bloom for her – in a not-postperson like way lah.

“apa yang buat ko sayang gila kat dia la nie?”

Pregnant pause. He swallowed before continuing.

“tiga bulan lepas pinangan aku ditolak, aku mula kenal dia. diri dia sebenar. aku bagitau dia aku ada perasaan kat dia. dia mengaku dia dah lama memendam perasaan kat aku. Rupanya, Me, orang yang betul-betul untuk aku ada kat depan mata aje. Tapi sebab dia tau aku minat kat kawan dia, so dia tolonglah aku.”

I looked at him like he was an alien who just landed on his arse and didn’t know it was his ass.

“ko biar betul…”

“aku tak habis cakap la…aku tak sangka perasaan aku masa tuh tersentuh and aku dapat rasa sakit dia macam sakit yang aku rasa bila pinangan kene tolak mentah-mentah. Aku paham sakit dia macam mana. Jadi bila dia korbankan perasaan dia only to see me happy - buat aku jatuh cinta sepenuhnya. Pada aku bila ada orang yang sanggup buat camtu memang dia akan sehidup semati dengan aku. Sanggup susah senang bersama.”

The swell of emotions I felt vibrating from him almost made me cry. The look of pure longing and tenderness I see from his eyes almost broke me down.

But kurang macho okeh kalau nangis. Dahla pakai towel good morning kat kepala tuh. Apa kejadahnya tetiba nangis?

Silence hugged the both of us. Lost in our own thoughts. Mine all the way to him. His all the way to her.

The stars winked at us. Then he asked,

“camna ko tau ko confirm nak kawin dengan dia?”

“mak dia set date mai umah risik aku”

He gently socked my arm.

“woi apa main-main jawab nie. Hati kering la ko nie”

“takle, I guess I can’t imagine being with someone else”

“but la nie, we all asyik bertekak aje, tak larat aku. Dah la penat kursus, bila tepon asyik bertekak. Penat la.”

“la ko nie, sabor la…dia rindu tuh”

“rindu mende kalau asyik gaduh. Outward bound nie bagus pada aku – tadak henpon seminggu. Takyah gaduh. Dia bukan jenis nak tulis surat ke mende.”

“takpe la kang ok la. Ini cabaran berumahtangga.”

March 2008

So much has happened. Yet that night remains an unforgettable memory for me. Last night I dreamt of K. Last I spoke with him was back in January.

Ayat aku cam biasa

“ko dah kurus ke boroi ke maintain….*gelak Serbia*”

“aku maintain, Me”

“ko sihat, Me?”

“camtu camnilah”

Then we made small talk and promised to meet up whenever I’m in the capital. I’m rarely in the capital these days. But one day I’m sure we’ll meet and catch up.

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