The past 2 days have been absolute hell. S got her asthma attack again. Sigh.
This time, we took her to the asthma bay in the
hospital. After a round of nebuliser she was still lightly wheezing but because there were so many patients, IM and I decided to take her to her paed. While we were there the paed prescribed her hydrocote (steroids) to get rid of the inflammation of her airways, salbutamol for asthma and tridine for flu. All three were unsuccessfully administered orally because as soon as we wrestle her to the ground she’d kick and scream and then vomit the meds.
So that night was a bad night for me. IM? He slept through the night. I slept under her ‘buai’ in the living room because I made the decision to not bother shutting down the air-conditioner. IM lives in wintery conditions.
So my night was interspersed with 2 hours of sleep, 10 minutes of fussing with S because she was uncomfortable. At 2am woke up and tried to give her some meds. Failed. At 5.30am again tried to give her meds. This time I think she threw up half of it. But she could sleep better. At 8.30am she was uncomfortable again, wheezing and was a bit warm to the touch. So I made the decision to bring her to the paed again. No way was I bringing her to the emergency again. From past experiences she’d be admitted to the ward for asthma and fever.
IM was in school. Yeah. So I took emergency leave and brought S and Ma to the paed. This time she was given another round of nebuliser and then a hydrocote jab to the butt. Girl was strong okay. I hugged her close but her hand slipped from my grip and she made a grab for the syringe. She tried to pull it out. Hence a struggle with the paed and me shrieking ‘Let go, S! Let go!’.
When the paed pulled the syringe out it was all bended. Ish…seriau mak!
But her breathing cleared and the skin irritation around her eyes disappeared. What a relief!
Called Tok Pa to let him know and I got scolded for letting S’s health be compromised. Kalau tau haku tak tepon! Penat la.
My day was crazy to say the least. Other issues don’t seem to matter anymore.
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I’m seriously thinking about moving to KL. IM is also supportive of the idea. We’ll see lah. Need to keep an eye on me mum. Last doctor’s visit - her liver is not fully functioning and her kidneys are showing signs of deteriorating.
I’m so sad just thinking about it. I want to go home and spend more time with the woman who carried me for nine months and gave me everything she had to raise me proper. Even though I used to have issues with her (Abang was the favourite son) I’m past all that. Doesn’t seem to matter seeing that I’m on borrowed time with her. I haven’t been back in 2 months. I want to go back this month. I need to go back and see her this month.
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IM’s 32nd birthday on Saturday. Probably low-key celebration at best. Was thinking of making dinner. Buying cake. And that’s it. We’ll have J and L for dinner. Maybe K and R will be there. Ma and Abah will be in Seremban for round 2 of kenduri E.
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I pray to HIM that I have enough strength to be strong for IM and S. I also pray that we grow stronger and closer every day because love is rare and when you have it in your grasp you will protect it, nurture it and keep it with you always.
No matter what.
